Little Update

The little has finally ventured out into the living room. She is so flippin cute doing her sideways puffed up "big kitty" walk. She's getting so brave!

Oy vey!

The painters covered my bedroom window with brown paper so I took a sharpie and wrote on the paper, "Windows painted shut. Please fix. Thank you."

Guess what! When I got home tonight, the windows were unstuck!!!

It's a bloody miracle!

Sooo big!

Little bear, Takoda, got weighed and is 35.7 pounds!!!! 

He is getting sooo big!

His paws are freaking huge.

I'll have to take some pictures tomorrow.

Claustrophobia

I'm having a serious case of it. I can't open any windows or doors and its freaking 90 degrees in here. It's cooler outside!

My house is getting painted so they've painted all the windows shut.... I can't open any I even tried taking a box knife to them to cut away the paint and pry them open, no success.

And they took off my screen doors so if I want air to flow through I also have to deal with the two neighbor cats coming in to my house and the kitten possibly getting out. Because she's been closed up in my room it's like a freaking furnace in there and I can't put my fan in the window. 

ARGH! 

I seriously considered calling the landlord to bitch but went outside for a breath of air instead and watched the lightning storm for a little bit. 

I feel better now. Still hot, but better.

No cheese for the weary

I had to kill two mice today.

Sticky traps are horrible and cruel, don't use them!

Mice get stuck in the extremely sticky goo and can't move. Their feet get stuck then they get tired and lay down, then the rest of their body is stuck then they can't keep their head up any longer and then their lower jaw or whatever part of their head that touches it gets stuck.

When I found them they were still alive and squeaking in terror.

So I drowned them. 

I can now say that I have held a living creature under water and felt it drown. I held it under until it stopped kicking and twitching.

yup.... all in a days work.

I highly suggest that if you have a mouse problem, you use the spring traps. They're quick and when you check the traps you don't have to watch a critter suffer, you just have to dump the corpse in the trash.

Oh yeah!

AND my washing machine broke today. again.

It's brand new and was working juuuust fine two days ago.

Now for whatever reason, though nothing has been altered in the last two days, it won't fill. The water just keeps running and keeps draining at the same time.

I called in service since I have a warranty. The technician can't make it until thursday July 3rd.

Oh, and he'll be here sometime between 8 am and noon. Fantastic. Good thing I have that day off.

Back to the laundromat.

It's a BS degree, all right.

I know what the BS really stands for.

I finally got a letter from PSU saying my degree would be mailed the week of June 23rd but wait... it's never that simple.

The letter said to go online and fill out a "Diploma Mail Authorization" form. Holy fucking flying pigs... they need a form to mail a $30,000 piece of paper?!

It gets better... it's not an electronic form. You can only print it out online then you have to either mail it, fax it, or bring it in. Great!

So I'm faxing the stupid thing tomorrow at work then wait another 2 weeks for them to actually put a stamp on it then another week for it to get here from Portland. So even though I finished college JULY 2007 it probably won't be in my hands until AUGUST 2008.

One whole year. Ridiculous.  

My transcript shows that my degree was not actually awarded until March 22, 2008.  Oh man, once I get that degree in my hand I am sooooo done with PSU.

SO done.

But, atleast I now have a Bachelors degree and I made it through with a 3.21 GPA. Suck it PSU.

In the gutter looking up

I can still remember when I realized I finally made it.

I'd finally been trained to clean the cat dens at the Oregon Zoo, got home after a regular day there, took off my shoes at the bottom of the stairs to my apartment (this was before they required clothing changes before you entered or exited the zoo) and saw a clump of tiger fur stuck to the bottom of my shoe....... who comes home with TIGER FUR on their shoes!!!!!! Seriously! I was so ecstatic that I did a happy dance, called my mom, and gushed! 

I'd finally made a dream come true. I'd made it! Me!

To this day I don't mind coming home dirty and covered in animal debris. I relish it. It reminds me of where I am and what I've accomplished. It makes me proud of myself.

wow.

My cousin Angie died in her sleep last night.

She was way too young to die. She is younger than me! She has four beautiful kids and had her whole life ahead of her. 

I feel bad because we were never that close. Her family was always the cluster that lived far away and only showed up for Christmas every other year.

I have a very large family. My father is the 4th oldest of 15 kids. I have a hard time keeping track of how many cousins I have.... atleast 20 ..... 24 of us inlcuding me and my brothers... then there's our generation's kids ...... atleast 34 by now ..... the Zindas have always been good breeders (except me of course). This is just my father's side of the family, I'm not even counting my mom's side of the family.

Family dynamics are always complicated, that's normal. I've always had mixed feelings about family. The relationship between me and my father's family has always been strained because of my father. I got the short end of the stick as far as fathers go. He's not a good man. His relationship with all of his brothers and sisters has never been good and then when my mom finally left him and I refused to visit him all of our ties were severed. I regret that our parents' crap kept me from my cousins. I have more good than bad memories of our times together. In the last 4 years I've gotten back in touch with that side of the family and have not regretted it. A lot of my traits and qualities make alot more sense to me now and I value them more. I really regret all the years I missed getting to know my cousins. They will always share a closeness that I will never be a part of because they grew up together. I missed out on quite a bit. Even my brother's and I will never be as close as we should be because of our father. It really is a shame but I've taken steps in the last couple of years to build better relationships with the ones that matter.

I've not always believed that you build your own family. People have always tried to tell me that blood is what matters. I disagree. "Blood" is what brought you to life and in some cases, what can also make your life hell. Having sex and creating a child is not hard. Obviously, anyone can do it. Making a real family is much harder and takes constant effort and care. I now firmly believe that family does not consist solely of blood relatives.... it is often those people that hurt you the most. That is what I love about friendship.... you get to choose your friends and they are what makes up YOUR family. Sometimes, if you're lucky your friends consist of blood relatives. 

The friends I've had the longest and hold the dearest happen to all be blood.

I wish I had known Angie better but her presence will still be missed. I feel for her mother, my aunt, who is completely devastated right now. I cannot even begin to imagine what Aunt Betty is going through this very moment. They were very close and this came as a total shock. We still do not know why she died. All we know right now is that she had bronchitis, went to bed last night, and didn't wake up this morning. SO amazingly, shockingly sad.

What I do know is that her family is there for her. Some of this Zinda family cares about the rest and does what they can to take care of eachother. Even when I was separated from the family there were a few who kept in touch, knew where I was in my life's journey and I would get a phone call, or a card in the mail, or a surprise visit at my graduation. I never knew at those moments what that contact meant but now I know that simply meant that they cared. 

It's a family... it has its good and bad parts but this particular family actually believes that blood counts. I guess I'm lucky that they think differently than I do.

Death is a time for reflection. It's a time to re-evaluate what you believe and to look at what you're doing, maybe re-adjust your compass. Everyone handles death differently. 

I think it's sad to lose someone you love, someone you weren't ready to lose but death is expected. The timing is a surprise but not death itself. Everyone dies. I try to think of what that person gave to us and evaluate whether their life deserves to be celebrated or whether their death should be celebrated. Both of my grandmothers are gone, I celebrated their lives and miss them dearly even though one of them I never even met. Both of my grandfathers are gone and I celebrated their deaths because they were terrible examples of humanity and their only worthy contributions were the result of their sperm. When I die some day I hope that my life is celebrated, not my death.

I'm sorry you died before I knew you better, Angie. From what I do know, your life will be celebrated.

I'm sad...

My dearest friend for the last five years has been gone for two weeks today.

:-(

I miss her.

Lil Bits

The little is doing very well, more and more of her personality comes out every day.

She has decided that she prefers my bedroom now instead of the bathroom. She has made various caves a.k.a. safety zones under the nightstand, in my box spring, under the rocking chair, in a still unpacked box of scarves and hats. 

She started out meowing non-stop anytime I was not in the room and overnight. Since my bed is so high I guess she thought I wasn't in there cuz as soon as I hopped into bed she would meow ALL night, literally. So I tried sleeping on the floor and she was fine. I have hard wood floors so that sucked. Yeah, i have not been getting much sleep lately. She's gradually been getting more cuddly too, like actually sleeping curled under my chin or tucked into my arm which totally made up for the floor-sleeping until last night... I couldn't take the hard floor anymore. I was so done that I didn't even care if she cried all night.

I actually tuckered her out playing with this feather toy that she loves so she actually fell asleep with me up on my bed. I woke up briefly when she jumped down and then woke up again some time later when I rolled over and felt a warm little furball next to me... she figured out how to climb up on the bed!!! 

She's a smart little!

I slept the rest of the night now only worrying about squishing her when I rolled over ;-)

She's 100% kitten now, playing with everything and anything. It's been five years since I had a kitten and I'd forgotten how much fun they are. She goes non-stop then just crashes, then eats, goes potty, and then she's running again.... so freaking cute!

It's either THAT entertaining or I'm very easily amused.... ok, maybe both.

Skunked!

The live trap that we set up to try and catch momma cat with has not quite been successful.

No momma cat and no kittens yet... skunk, however, we now have.

It's a little skunk but still packs quite a punch to the nose.

I was walking up to the trap to put some fresh bait in it and I noticed something was in it.... I was like, oh kitty! But then I notice the white stripe and backed off pretty quick, luckily before the little buggar noticed me. The cage is in an awkward position underneath a cattleguard so it was kind of tricky to get him out of the trap.

We ended up throwing a tarp over the whole cattleguard to keep us from getting squirted then had to use three long wooden sticks to open the trap door and then prop it open so he could come out at his leisure... there's no way I'm gonna try to force a loaded skunk butt out of a trap!

He was squirting like crazy which burned all my nose hairs but luckily did not saturate me due to the tarp... oh beloved tarp, how I love thee!

Poor little skunky poo was proabably scared to death! Hopefully he'll be gone by morning.

I seriously doubt that momma cat will be trying to enter the skunked trap anytime soon no matter how many tasty treats we put in there.

We'll have to come up with something else I guess.

Skunked again!

Drum roll please........

The winner of the name contest is Takoda!

(I'm bummed cuz I really liked Douglas but the public has spoken)

As usual public opinion is not my own ;-)

But it's still a good name.

Baby bear is "no name" no longer. Yay!

The dinner event last night went very well.

We shuttled people into the back bear yard in vans. Us keepers had to escort the vans back there so that the adult bears in the front yard wouldn't mess with the van. It was like 92 degrees and the safari shirts we have to wear for special events do not breathe well at all so we were roasting!

The dinner event area in the back looked lovely though, the caterers did a fantastic job and all guests behaved themselves very well.

There was a buffet dinner, raffle prizes, donation stations where people could sign up to donate a bear and help feed them for the next year, 2 grand prizes (a large stuffed black bear & a wine basket), an enrichment keeper talk and then an opportunity for guests to toss enrichment over the fence to the big bears, and the naming event for the baby bear.

It turned out great, we raised about $10K for the baby bear and additions to hit hut as well as adoptions of the other bears.

The best part by far though was after we had shuttled all of the people out, it was getting dark, clouds rolled in, about 10 of us staff we still sitting in the back yard eating some dinner from the buffet and then the thunder and lightning started. It was amazing!!! We were all alone in the middle of the safari at night with a thunder storm going on around us and eating the most wonderful food. 

So freaking-A cool!

All in all, a good night.

A whole new world!

Baby bear "no name" is a big bear now!

Last thursday he weighed in at 28lbs. so I'm sure he is well over 30lbs. by now.... sooo big!

We moved him into the big bear enclosure on Monday where he'll be living in a large hut so he can see all the other bears but be safe from them until he's bigger. Unfortunately he had to learn about hot wire..... sooo sad!

It's for his own good, something he had to learn but so hard to watch because he's now like our own little baby. Anyways, so there are 3 lines of hotwire inside of the hut: a top wire, middle wire, and bottom wire. This is important because black bears climb very well and we don't want him climbing the fence once he's out in the roof-less enclosure. So this hotwire conditioning is very important. 

He's a smart boy, he figured it out right away. He got zapped really good only once when he first tried to climb the fence... after that he just got his ears zapped a couple times cuz the bottom wire is just high enough that he can walk under it but if he raises his head just a little bit his ears touch the wire.

Poor baby bear. He a tough little nook though and smart as heck!

Tonight we have a benefit dinner in the black bear area where we will be announcing his official name!!! I soooo hope it's Douglas!

We have been having a naming contest for the last couple of weeks. The four of us keepers came up with three possible names for him that we liked then we opened it up to the public to vote on. The options we came up with are:

Douglas - for the fir tree and the county we live in.

Takoda - native american for "a friend to all"

Yuma - native american for "son of a ..... chief" ;-)

Douglas was the name I came up with and we have all been calling him that already so I hope it's the one that got the most votes.

Anyways, I will let you know what name he ends up with... I'll find out in a couple of hours.... eeeeeee! (squeal of excitement).

Hello bathroom floor!

So 2nd night with the little.  She meows a lot.

I don't blame her really, she's had quite the culture shock recently.

Poor little.

I'm sure she misses her momma.

She seems to feel safer in the bathroom so I started her out in there. Sad little meows kill me! So then I tried letting her sleep with me but she just kept jumping off the bed, hiding underneath it, and then meowing non-stop.... and I do mean non-stop, literally. So I put her back into the security of the bathroom where she continued to meow. I just had to sleep through it which was very hard. I didn't get much sleep that night.

We bonded throughout the day and she is definitely more secure in the bathroom where she is playful and cuddly and acts like a normal kitten. I spent most of the day sitting in the bathroom with her where she routinely ate, pooed, and fell asleep cuddled in my arms purring contentedly.

So last night (the second night) I figured I'd just leave her in the bathroom and not stress her out by taking her into my bedroom. She was meowing desperately the whole time and I tried to tell myself that she just needs to get used to it and that she'd be fine. But then I was like, it's only her 2nd night away from everything she knew to be safe.... well that made me give in. I'm a total sucker. I grabbed my pillow and crashed on the bathroom floor. She stopped meowing as soon as I got in there and fell asleep curled up under my chin.  

2 words.

freaking. adorable.

Say hello to my little friend

Meet my new friend Mia...

She's a feral kitten that we found at the safari roaming around with her momma and three other siblings.  We caught her and one of her sisters, we are still trying to live-trap her mom and other two siblings. We will spay momma and find her a good home and (once we find them) I'd like to take one more kitten home with me so Mia has a friend. We are estimating her at 8 weeks, she got her first set of shots, worm meds, & frontline.

This is pretty sad but having her here just makes me miss Madison even more. Mia has a lot of the same markings that Mad has.  Mia is pretty freaking adorable. She is the runt and is super skinny, I can feel all her little bones sticking out. She is eating really well, and growls while she eats as if she is still fighting off her siblings. So funny! She nurses while she sleeps and has quite the little motor. She loves tummy rubs which is the total opposite of Madison.

I did need a friend though, it was perfect timing. On the one week anniversary of Madison's disappearance I found Mia.

I feel like it is too soon to replace Madison but Mia isn't really replacing her. I still want my cat to come back home.

Staple-free!

Well, I got the staples removed from my head on tuesday, phew!

Didn't hurt at all, just weird. 

Now its scabbed and itchy but definitely better. We all know I need another hole in the head like a $2 hooker needs a coupon special.

Madison is still gone.

I went to the local animal shelter to give them a flyer and it was HORRIBLE. I was doing ok until I went back to the cat area to see if she had been brought in, then I lost it.

All these kitties reaching out through the cages and meowing their little hearts out, even worse were the ones just sitting there looking at me like, "yeah, I know you won't take me home."

I couldn't take it and then on my way out the lady started trying to reassure me by telling me not to lose hope and that people do recover their cats.... yeah, that's when I started bawling like a baby.

And this was on my lunch break so I still had to go back to work and finish my day.

Staple-free but heartbroken.

Missing...

What the hell do I do without my Madison? I have no chatter box greeting me when I come in the door, I have no meowing at the sink to get a drink of water, I have no motor running on my chest while I fall asleep, I have no bunched up rugs when I get home, I have no furball tripping me as I walk to feed her.....

:-(

I want her home!!!

I made up flyers and passed them out to all my neighbors... handed out about 40 and then someone told me that we have a neighborhood email system. Some guy has the emails for everyone in the neighborhood and he sends out notices and updates. Frickin sweet! 

So I emailed him my flyer and hopefully something will turn up on her whereabouts.

I called all the local animal hospitals, shelters, county animal control, etc. Am going tomorrow on my lunch to post flyers at their locations.

This sucks.

I want my kitten back!

R.I.P. Bug

Denali a.k.a. Bug

From Oregon Zoo email update:

Good-Bye to Bug

It was sad to read this morning of the passing of Bug, our grizzly bear, who was euthanized this morning. Bug had been showing signs of lameness and stiffness in his legs. He had been put on multiple medications to control his pain, but his condition did not improve significantly. A veterinary exam this morning revealed joint deterioration in his right hip, resulting in a bone-on bone situation, and part of the socket had worn away.  There were also bone chips in his feet making it very painful to walk.  Bah and his brother Bug came to Portland in February, 1985 when they were a little more than 3 years old.  Bah died in 2001.  They were both very special to all that worked with them. 

Bloody cats

My cat is gone. 

She's wild, always has been. She was born wild, anyways.

She's been with me and indoors since she fit in the palm of my hand. She was a rescue.

She's always wanted to be outside SO bad, it's like a drug for her. So I leash trained her since we always lived in a city (i.e. downtown Portland). Well, since we moved here, the leash has not been enough and I've always felt really bad about denying her the freedom of being a cat outdoors. So I decided to start letting her outside sans leash.

It's pretty freaking scary.

Knowing what could happen to her out there and not knowing where she is or if she's ok.

Unlike children, you can't have your cats carry cell phones and check in with you.

So she left all night one of the first times I started letting her out (a month or more ago) and then she hadn't done it since, she'd been staying really close and only gone for about an hour at the most at a time.

Well, since noon yesterday she's been out there somewhere.

I can't believe she hasn't come back for food. She LOVES her canned food that she gets every morning. Loves it! So this is really disturbing me.

I hate this.

One braaaaave turkey!

This is pretty F'n bad

This is how they clean their lion cages... notice the cats are still in there......

Animals become prey at Egypt's Giza Zoo

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-gizazoo8-2008jun08,0,6530817.story

"Most visitors come to the zoo to eat, sleep, throw orange peels at the animals and then leave trash behind them."

"a photographer tried to lure passersby into the lion's den for a snapshot with the king of the jungle. He said there was no danger because the cub and its mother were sedated."

"more than 400 animals have vanished from the zoo in the last three years"

"police say workers have been turning them into dinner or selling them as pets"

Zoo chairman says "how can I ask a zookeeper who struggles to feed himself to be merciful to the animals?"

Um, how about this.... don't have a fucking zoo!!!

Another one bites the dust!

Caribbean monk seal becomes extinct

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jG7KS792s_njtUMaxoi66jmWRqgwD9154M6O0

Hawaiian monk seal is next... anyone wanna place bets?

Ouch, I Did it Again

Yes, I fell. I slipped and fell. Pretty cool injury, huh?

I was cutting meat. Every tuesday I cut 66 - 5lb. cheetah diets, 9 - 3lb. cheetah diets, 4 tiger diets, 2 tiger fast bones, 6 female lion diets, 4 male lion diets, about 30lbs. of chunks for bears, and about 10-20lbs. for village animals. Thats a lot of meat, yo.

Things get wet and slippery.

I had just finished cutting diets and wheeling them all into the walk-in cooler and was walking back down the metal ramp, which is not very steep mind you, next thing I know I am on the ground and my head feels like it has exploded.

Now, I've been injured pretty badly before but never a head wound and I've never felt anything like this before. 

It. fucking. hurt.

I rolled over and was just trying to hold my head on. It took me a couple of tries but I made myself stand up and walked to find my co-worker who was in the back room and didn't even realize I was bleeding at that point.

It sucked ass. 

Turns out I nailed my head and my left butt cheek on the edge of the metal ramp.

(I am so not showing a picture of my butt)

2 hours later I could finally see straight and had three staples in the back of my head.

(I can't get a picture of my head wound without assistance so will post later)

So I got put back together... why do people insist on teasing you about an injury? I got hurt, I understand the need to laugh it off, it's what I do, but the jokes get old. 

office staff:

"If you wanted attention, there are better ways of getting it, you know"

doctors and nurses:

"are you dizzy? more so than usual? get it.... you're blonde?" (dur!)

"now you're a metal head, hee-yuk!"

co-workers:

"have fun... don't fall!"

people tip-toeing up the ramp... etc. etc. 

Yeah, yeah.. everyone's a comedian.

Enough already. I hope you all have fun the next time you get injured.

But for now, my butt hurts!

Fly Repellent for Big Cats

I'm a member of quite a few zoological list serves i.e. zoo professionals from all over the world can share info and ask questions via web posts that are updated to your email, it's pretty super.

But you would not believe some of the topics that come up... see title of blog entry.

Seriously, do your cats stink that bad? Do they have decaying flesh? Are they lying amidst their own feces? Do you live in a cesspool a.k.a. Florida? 

And how would you get rid of said flies? How is a spray that delivers DEATH to insects not harmful to your cats? What do you use, the hanging strips of sticky paper? Electric zappers? Breed spiders? (ugh, shudder!)

It's a good question... very tricky.

I vote for moving out of Florida or Louisiana or wherever they are, seriously, we should never have colonized the bug infested swampy humid states.

(I crack myself up)